


stupid for you

by gloworm



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gay yearning, Other, daydreaming about ur gay crush? gay as hell, i'm super not caught up but i just finished season 2, its yearning hours lads, this is actually super cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 06:01:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21911173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gloworm/pseuds/gloworm
Summary: feelings are difficult. especially when you don't understand them.
Relationships: Amethyst/Peridot (Steven Universe)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19





	stupid for you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [StarryFishBoneSoup](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryFishBoneSoup/gifts).



> gay yearning anyone? i just finished season 2 so i don't want to hear about any inaccuracies. i'm just soft for these space rocks leave me alone

Everything about Earth was annoying and backward.

It made Peridot feel a certain way, a certain uneasy very bad way. Being suddenly thrust from everything she knew into somewhere that seemed so far behind in history was a strange experience, not quite one she really wanted. Granted she didn’t have much choice in the matter considering she was stuck, with a rogue set of defective gems and one weird hybrid no less. After the ro-butt fight and even just passively watching the way they interacted - it was so….so!… intimate. Peridot found herself holding her own chest, one hand pressed firmly against her sternum as she watched Amethyst and Steven throw water balloons at the side of the barn, a bad sinking sort of feeling inside of her. It hadn’t been long since the disastrous “Log 7112” event and Amethyst was still a bit distant, but the…friendship…between them didn’t seem too damaged.

That also made Peridot feel a certain way.

Amethyst glanced over and flashed Peridot a grin, causing Peridot to sputter and quickly turn around. However her foot got caught on a piece of spare metal and she tripped, crashing to the ground with a yelp. Steven yelled out to her but as she lay flat on her face, groaning at her own stupidity, the sound of Amethyst’s loud laughter eased the sinking feeling in her chest. This was another issue. She thought that perhaps learning about these “feelings” and “friendships” would be easy to help categorize all these little sensations she had into neat boxes and lists, yet the way she seemed to feel about Amethyst wasn’t the way she felt about the Pearl or the Garnet, or even Steven. Peridot had thought it perhaps some kind of fluke, the way she had been desperate to seem “cool” for Amethyst and make her laugh, but she was realizing that she might favor the Amethyst more than the others and it was…frustrating.

To say the least.

The little outburst, telling Amethyst she was defective, talking about how she was _supposed_ to look like…it was bad but it was supposed to make her like Peridot more. Peridot was, in a weird roundabout way, tell her that even if she was small she still had the power of someone bigger. Loyal…beautiful… Peridot sighed as the pressure returned to her chest, sitting up slowly and rubbing the back of her head as she frowned over at Amethyst and Steven. Steven was making his way over with a worried expression, Amethyst on the ground laughing loudly. Cackling, really, with the noise she was making. Peridot batted away Steven’s hands and assuaged his concerns, crossing her arms and sniffing as she turned away. She groaned into her hands as Steven shrugged and walked off, her face feeling warm as she sat back down and picked up a screwdriver. She continued her work, pulling wires and components from an unused mechanical device as her thoughts trailed off again. She glanced up occasionally to check on the other’s progress, gaze sliding over the Pearl and then the Garnet. She paused for a moment, lips pressed together as she glanced from Garnet to Amethyst.

Garnet was some pseudo weird perma-fusion, walking and moving with an ease Peridot had never seen from a fusion before. She’d tried to understand it, had wanted answers in a way someone of her position had wanted to collect solid data. She’d asked Steven and he’d just smiled at her before shaking his head. She hadn’t understood the hidden implications and it’d been frustrating her like an abnormally difficult puzzle with the answer scrambled right in front of her face. She pulled another screw out and idly began to wonder how something like that happened.

How it felt.

How it might feel with Amethyst.

Peridot’s face burned, shoulders hunching up by her ears as she tilted her face forward so the heat in her face was hidden. Where had that thought come from? Sure fusion, in general, wasn’t something she’d never thought about, the concept of having so much strength at one's fingertips (she felt confident using that word now) was astounding - borderline euphoric in theory. She’d seen it happen, saw the confidence and the fury and the raw power. But how would it feel outside of battle? How would it feel day to day, while pulling funny faces and crossing her arms and pulling Steven out of a stack of tires he’d fallen into? Peridot blinked slowly and found her gaze wandering back to Amethyst, snickering and stretching her form to make Steven laugh. She turned her head a fraction and froze as she locked eyes with Garnet, who gave her an unreadable expression before turning away. Peridot quickly turned back to her work, moving with a mechanical efficiency she had learned through hours of methodical work. Had she crossed some sort of line? The rules were so blurred together and topsy-turvey that Peridot couldn’t figure out if she had truly caused a problem.

Hours slid by and nothing happened, so Peridot finally relaxed her shoulders and sat back. She’d isolated herself so much during her short time here, anxious being away from the Homeworld and Yellow Diamond. Seeing the way the Crystal Gems all sat together, and the open spot next to Amethyst…maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to try and make new friends. Peridot stood, slowly, anxiously, and made her way over with a hesitance she hadn’t often felt before. At least not like this.

“Uhm…”

This was a situation where she wanted to think before she spoke. She had such difficulty doing that, of just generally not sounding confrontational or like a know-it-all. Pearl and Garnet glanced at each other, which Peridot tried not to notice with a nervous itch at the back of her neck.

“Sit with us, I think we’ve done enough work for today.”

Pearl’s voice was gentle and she motioned to the open spot next to Amethyst, who grinned and patted the ground next to her. Peridot meekly sat down, crossing her legs and content to just watch the others interact for a while. They spoke of weekend plans at the pier, taking a break for a day or two because they’d been working so hard. Steven spoke of friends. Of daily life on a little backwards rock in space. The breeze blew gently through the trees, the sunset in the distance making the colors soft and hazy. Peridot took a moment to just, breathe, and exist. She settled a hand in the grass, eyelids drooping as the voices of the others drifted into mellow background noise. Amethyst laughed, sharp and loud, and as Peridot glanced at her and her wide genuine smile, she couldn’t help but feel absolutely no guilt in deciding to stay and help defeat the Cluster.


End file.
